Review: Legion Secret Origins #1/6
It says something about the popularity of this miniseries that it ended in May and all of the issues were still on the shelves in August with the exception of #5, which was oddly absent. What, does something amazing happen in #5 that I should know about? In all seriousness though, I thought this mini was pretty good, as it's always nice to help new readers find their way into the "origins" of a series. Especially one with such a long and ..."complex" history as the legion. I especially loved the penciling! I recognized the style instantly from The Legion series, and if Portela is leaving the current Legion of Superheroes title than I'd love to see Batista take back the reins.
The series plants us on the planet Anotrom, where the Science Police are investigating what appears to be a worldwide massacre in suits that remind me vaguely of Starship Troopers. Cue them being flabbergasted, as things like that just don't happen in the 31st century! Ignore the fact that I can recall it happening at least four times at different points in legion history.
It doesn't happen often, anyway.
On a curious sidenote: why are 98% of the aliens in comics always bipedal? Moreover, why don't we see more lifeforms that aren't carbon based? What, did no four legged dog aliens become sentient? Can we not have telepathic crystal aliens? Aliens without navels? Creativity here, people!
At any rate, once the Science Police -- being an inept group kept around solely for plot movement -- are not able to discern what the hell happened to Anotrom and accidentally blow up the side of a cruiser, they find themselves on Colu begging the help of the Little Green Men. Or in this case, one little green man named Querl Dox, who, along with being the "mightiest thinker" of them all, is also the only Coluan without male pattern baldness.
Mightiest thinker of them all, indeed.
It's at this point that we're introduced to an odd trio of characters through whom all the alternating threads of the storyline are meant to pass. They're sort of like glorified data processors, from what I can tell. And it is through them that we witness our real origin story --you know-- the one about Garth, Imra and Rokk saving Brande from an assassination attempt? Yeah, that one. It's also to be noted that I believe this is the moment that we're meant to get an ominous feeling about one of our trio, and not only due to the fact that he looks like a cross between Morgan Freeman and Kofi Annan. I smell something fishy, and it isn't just the copious amounts of spandex being worn in the 31st century.
Seriously! Everyone's outfit is skin tight!
Back on Anotrom, our Mightest Thinker is having the first off-world adventure of his life with what I think is the tiniest yellow carry-on in the galaxy. I am unclear exactly what can fit into that thing, as the one instrument Brainy does pull from it likely took up half the available space. Regardless, it matches well with both his hair and go-go boots, so at least Brainy knows how to accessorize, despite the fact that he's wearing an entire suit of pink and purple.
It's at this point that i'd like to mention my one major problem with this series: the storyline confusion. Brainiac 5's little device is about to give off a small amount of energy which will then be absorbed by a small pink orb and explode like the side of that previously mentioned cruiser. And I'll be honest with you. That scene was so brief and dismissible that i'd already forgotten about it. So this explosion confused me enough that I had to go back and re-read the beginning.
This is not cohesive storytelling.
But hey, what does it matter when Tinya is here to confuse me even further by phasing up through the surface of the planet! Wait, what? What prompted this? Where was she previously? Was she just floating in the rocks? When did she get there? Why is Brainiac 5 pointing at his crotch?! Surely there is a better way to activate that forcefield belt than pointing at your crotch.
Even Tinya's explanation of coming through the wormhole to "warn" people doesn't really make a whole lot of sense. If she came through the wormhole than she's been on this decimated planet for what...days? And she's just now floating up through the rocks? What? Why?
This is not cohesive storytelling. But dammit if Brainiac 5's facial expressions don't make me laugh. And he and Tinya pressing fingers together is rather adorable.
The issue ends with Luornu being sworn into the legion while our glorified data processors watch absolutely everything in a way that is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. Seriously, how are they doing this? I don't see cameras floating around everywhere. Watching the swearing in makes sense, as there might be media cameras, but how are they watching Brainiac 5 and Tinya?
On the whole, I'm enjoying this series, though mostly for its art. Its all rather cute and harmless fun, and the amount of Brainiac 5 scenes makes me, as usual, super happy. They need to give him his own series. I bet people would read it. Granted, a whole issue of him sitting in his lab, experimenting on cockroaches, might not make for good reading.
Here's to me actually finding issue #5 of this series and remember friends:
IF YOU DREAM IT, YOU CAN DO IT!
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